Life has been so full of so many ups and downs of lately and I sit here tonight with a mixture of gratitude and sadness in my heart. My step-father stepped into eternity to the arms of Jesus today. I am so glad the suffering for him is over as it has been a long and painful 6 year battle for him. I am so sad to not have him here any longer and sad our new children won't get the opportunity to spend time with the best grandfather any grand child could ever ask for. I am so glad that he was able meet them and give us his blessing on adopting the kids. He only knew them for a short time, but he loved them.
He has always been an amazing grandpa to all our kids. He rarely missed any ball games, he was at the birth of every one of them, never missed a birthday and always spent oodles of time with them. Looking back I believe spending time with the kids and Bob and I doing what we each liked to do and just being content to be together and have fun was worth far more than money could buy! I will strive to treat other family members as he has treated me, giving of my time in the things important to them.
I am thankful he made it to Amber and Josh's wedding and he was able to (after watching many shows to gain knowledge on what to look for:-) help her find and say Yes to the Dress. He devoted himself to his family and was fun yet a gentleman. I am sad because there is no other grandpa willing to invest time into my kids as Grandpa Airplane has. I am thankful because his other Beautiful half, my mom, will still be around to be a blessing to us all. I have learned from her what it is like to selflessly give and provide the best loving care a husband could possibly receive.
I know when I get to heaven his neck will be one of the first I hug!
Even just yesterday God's timing prevailed in that the entire church service was about heaven and just how real it is. I know, because of his Love for Jesus, where my dad is tonight and for that I am so very grateful.
I am sad, yet truly I am a blessed women.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Maranatha, hope for a rough day!
This has been the roughest day for me since we got the kids. We had a 3 hour apt at a counselor for one of the kids. I thought the rest of us would be in the waiting room, but we were all in there together. The kids were very ill behaved and we all walked out frustrated! The ride home was frustrating until they fell asleep. We got home and I took them all to bed and the boys refused to go to bed. They peed on each other and fought and grrrrrrrr. I just felt bad as I was parenting from frustration. Bob was awesome and kept the boys home tonight while the rest of us went to church. It was good to go share about faith and get built up. Maranatha to you all, it means The Lord is coming, and that is the reason I go on. As a believer we have so much hope and an amazing future! So, instead of staying frustrated I am choosing to focus on my hope for the future and amazingly, I feel much better tonight! I am ready to continue on in the Lord's work and be the best mom I can be:-)
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
"Bored" Is Not a Word Heard in Our Home
It has been a little bit since I had the time or energy at the end of a day to blog. Folks, we are hoppin! The family as a whole is continuing to mesh and grow closer together. It is so amazing to really get to know each child and see how each one interacts with each of the other kids. Amber and Josh have been over a few times since coming back from their honeymoon and it has been wonderful to have all of us together twice. We celebrated Bob's birthday and then Amber's birthday all together.
I must say, the truth is my house is trashed and trying it seems I can either get laundry done or clean most of the house but have not figured out how to do both and/or clean my own room either. I am trying not to stress too much and just keep chugging doing my best. I did find that having a work day day or two a week with a younger helper assigned to an older kid seems to work very well, so we will be doing more of that.
The girls seems to be settling in more this week. Some of the newness is wearing off and they are seeing the routine. They are quite good at keeping their room clean. They are quite clingy when they get tired. I have spent a great deal of time learning and reading up on how to care for their hair and have spent countless hours trying new things. I am feeling more comfortable with it but it is quite time consuming. It does give me great chances to talk with the girls and connect with them one on one. They do everything together and are inseperatable. We have learned they are Very afraid of the dark and purchased more night lights to light the way to the restroom, as fear was keeping them from doing so. They have tried several tricks to manipulate situations or answers they don't like, but they are learning quickly that "this ain't our first rodeo"!
Javon, or JJ as we call him is soooo cute that he tries to charm himself out of any trouble that may find him. He is struggling with using cuss words and lying and we are working hard to help him stop both. He loves to snuggle and gives compliments on all the girl's hair or clothes and is just a charmer! He does not easily lay down for naps and has the ability to really frustrate us with this (luckily there is enough of us to take turns walking him back to bed that no one gets too angry).
Brian, he has a special place in my heart, but he is also extremely difficult to parent at times. He really struggles with self control and lies often when he even thinks he could get in trouble. Being consistent is so key with him. He takes up big chunks of time in correcting some of his poor choices. He has the kindest and sweetest heart in the world. He loves to be a helper when ever he can and is very protective of others.
They all love the pool and swimming is a daily event for us. We got swim caps for the girls to protect their hair. They all LOVE playing dress-up and that has become great fun for those rainy days. Speaking of rainy days, it is hard to keep the boys inside. They have so much energy to burn that those days when they are stuck inside are torture to us:-)
The toughest part for Bob and I right now is the lack of one on one time we have together. We go to breakfast on Friday mornings now for our weekly date and we are figuring it out.
Ya know, even at the end of a LONG day, I am still thrilled with what God is doing in our home. I love all my babies!!!
I must say, the truth is my house is trashed and trying it seems I can either get laundry done or clean most of the house but have not figured out how to do both and/or clean my own room either. I am trying not to stress too much and just keep chugging doing my best. I did find that having a work day day or two a week with a younger helper assigned to an older kid seems to work very well, so we will be doing more of that.
The girls seems to be settling in more this week. Some of the newness is wearing off and they are seeing the routine. They are quite good at keeping their room clean. They are quite clingy when they get tired. I have spent a great deal of time learning and reading up on how to care for their hair and have spent countless hours trying new things. I am feeling more comfortable with it but it is quite time consuming. It does give me great chances to talk with the girls and connect with them one on one. They do everything together and are inseperatable. We have learned they are Very afraid of the dark and purchased more night lights to light the way to the restroom, as fear was keeping them from doing so. They have tried several tricks to manipulate situations or answers they don't like, but they are learning quickly that "this ain't our first rodeo"!
Javon, or JJ as we call him is soooo cute that he tries to charm himself out of any trouble that may find him. He is struggling with using cuss words and lying and we are working hard to help him stop both. He loves to snuggle and gives compliments on all the girl's hair or clothes and is just a charmer! He does not easily lay down for naps and has the ability to really frustrate us with this (luckily there is enough of us to take turns walking him back to bed that no one gets too angry).
Brian, he has a special place in my heart, but he is also extremely difficult to parent at times. He really struggles with self control and lies often when he even thinks he could get in trouble. Being consistent is so key with him. He takes up big chunks of time in correcting some of his poor choices. He has the kindest and sweetest heart in the world. He loves to be a helper when ever he can and is very protective of others.
They all love the pool and swimming is a daily event for us. We got swim caps for the girls to protect their hair. They all LOVE playing dress-up and that has become great fun for those rainy days. Speaking of rainy days, it is hard to keep the boys inside. They have so much energy to burn that those days when they are stuck inside are torture to us:-)
The toughest part for Bob and I right now is the lack of one on one time we have together. We go to breakfast on Friday mornings now for our weekly date and we are figuring it out.
Ya know, even at the end of a LONG day, I am still thrilled with what God is doing in our home. I love all my babies!!!
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Who's Loosing Their Marbles?
We have been thinking of ways to encourage the kids to make good choices and discourage some of the behaviors we'd like them to leave alone. What we came up with is a marble system. Each child has their name on a cup and a happy face and in the middle is a tub full of marbles with a big sad face on it. Whenever one is kind or shows obedience or makes a good choice they get a marble and if they make a bad choice or disobey they loose a happy marble to the sad bucket. At the end of the day which ever 2 kids have the most happy marbles get to pick a prize out of the prize basket. They LOVE going to the basket! Brian has had a rough couple days and is bummed he has not earned a trip to the basket of blessings. It is fun to encourage the kids to earn marbles and hopefully will help them learn some good character traits.
It rained most of the day today keeping us inside most of the day and that is super tough as these kids have more energy than FPL! They were able to swim for a couple hours tonight which helped them get to sleep. Bed time is running smoother and tonight we hit the goal of in by 8pm, yaaaaaaaa! There was much whining and tears from Brianna who didn't get to go to blessing basket tonight, but hopefully a lesson learned.
The hardest thing right now is really the noise level. These kids scream at each other and us all day. It is very trying at times. I don't understand why they yell, I mean even when they sing and pray they yell. Will need to get creative on a way to quiet them some. Maybe play a whisper game. Any ideas?
My favorite part of each day with the kids has become morning when ALL the kids that are awake pile into my bed and snuggle and love on each other. It is semi quiet as all aren't awake and all are so sweet. It is fun to watch 7 or 8 kids pack into my bed with me:-)
In the van we listen to Bible verse songs A - Z and they are doing great at memorizing God's Word. We have also spent a lot of time, especially with the girls, talking about Jesus and salvation. Briasia asked Jesus into her heart at Bash at church and Brianna has asked many questions. They are working through confusion as they have been raised Jahova's Witnesses for 1 1/2 years. Please pray for them.
So interesting watching the kids get to know each other and start to mesh into 1 family. It is going to take time for these beautiful babies to fully settle in. They still ask almost daily if, when and where we are going to drop them off. That breaks my heart. They ask why we want them or love them. I heart aches for them to fully believe I and accept our love. I am soooo stressed at some moments but I must admit, I regret nothing and love my life and this opportunity so much. It is teaching me and all of us as a family so much.
If any of you have any good creative ideas, please post them:-)
It rained most of the day today keeping us inside most of the day and that is super tough as these kids have more energy than FPL! They were able to swim for a couple hours tonight which helped them get to sleep. Bed time is running smoother and tonight we hit the goal of in by 8pm, yaaaaaaaa! There was much whining and tears from Brianna who didn't get to go to blessing basket tonight, but hopefully a lesson learned.
The hardest thing right now is really the noise level. These kids scream at each other and us all day. It is very trying at times. I don't understand why they yell, I mean even when they sing and pray they yell. Will need to get creative on a way to quiet them some. Maybe play a whisper game. Any ideas?
My favorite part of each day with the kids has become morning when ALL the kids that are awake pile into my bed and snuggle and love on each other. It is semi quiet as all aren't awake and all are so sweet. It is fun to watch 7 or 8 kids pack into my bed with me:-)
In the van we listen to Bible verse songs A - Z and they are doing great at memorizing God's Word. We have also spent a lot of time, especially with the girls, talking about Jesus and salvation. Briasia asked Jesus into her heart at Bash at church and Brianna has asked many questions. They are working through confusion as they have been raised Jahova's Witnesses for 1 1/2 years. Please pray for them.
So interesting watching the kids get to know each other and start to mesh into 1 family. It is going to take time for these beautiful babies to fully settle in. They still ask almost daily if, when and where we are going to drop them off. That breaks my heart. They ask why we want them or love them. I heart aches for them to fully believe I and accept our love. I am soooo stressed at some moments but I must admit, I regret nothing and love my life and this opportunity so much. It is teaching me and all of us as a family so much.
If any of you have any good creative ideas, please post them:-)
Thursday, May 30, 2013
It Was the Best of Days........It was the worst of Days......
Wow!!! I know I say that a lot on here, but it is the best word to describe so many moments we are experiencing. This morning was awesome! Lilly and Alex worked at our church Bash for the younger kids, while Aana, Noelle, Andrew, Brianna, and Briasia all attended. This gave me a few hours alone with the boys. We had a blast at Bass Pro Shop and then at Costco for lunch. When I picked all the kids up it was obvious they had enjoyed the Bash. I pray it is helping the girls know more about Jesus.
I am consistently amazed at how God works out so many details for this entire adoption. When I picked the kids up from Bash a lady standing off to the side was watching the boys run around a tree. I was a little tiny bothered at how intently she was watching them. Then when she heard me call Brian she asked if it was Brian with 3 siblings and with his current last name. I was dumb founded as after I said yes she revealed that she will be our new case worker starting this Monday. She is a daughter of a dear friend at church of mine. We knew our caseworker was moving and done last Friday and have felt a little apprehensive about who we would have next, and Bam! God worked it all out!
After Bash we hung out at home and then went on a bike ride. The girls ride much slower than the boys. I was riding in the back with Brianna and she fell off her bike. I thought, no harm done as she landed in the grass. She sat there for a moment and then started screaming. I jumped off my bike thinking she was hurt and ran to her and pick up the bike to move it and she was already up stomping and jumping around. I was totally puzzled for a moment until the sting started hitting me! She had crashed into an ant hill and she was getting ant bites and I now had hundreds of them all over my arms and legs. My right foot is Very bit up but it seems she only ended up with a few bites. Needless to say it was a long ride home! Briasia crashed by our house and Lilly carried her in and Brian sprung into helping action getting the bikes out of the street and was so precious and concerned for his sisters! We got everyone bandaged up and off we went to watch the bigger kids' dance recital.
They all did great at dance in their routines. The little ones had a hard time sitting still to watch but overall they did well. We then went to McDonalds, and what a mistake!!! Brian threw one major fit after another the entire time. They all fought over fries and were just not doing well. It was a long ride home as Brian screamed the entire way and they all fought over toys. I must admit, I was ready to yell Calgon Take me Away (Only funny to those old enough to remember)! We made it though!
I got the boys to bed and then the girls completely melted down. In the end it was because Briasia's loft bed was under a smoke detector and she was scared to death of it and her twin was crying with sympathy pains:-) Bob came and helped me move the bed and........ahhhhhhh all is well in the Hahn house tonight.
I love every one of these children so much. Some moments are so frustrating to me and reminds me of how much I must frustrate my Lord when I throw a fit. It is so hard to think through the adoption of these children without truly being humbled at how I have been adopted into His family and he has been sooooooo patient with me! Praying for God to give me ideas and wisdom on how to train Brian to handle his frustration. I am also giving a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone of our other children. This is a family ministry and all the kids have risen to the calling and been a HUGE HELP!
Soooooo Blessed!
I am consistently amazed at how God works out so many details for this entire adoption. When I picked the kids up from Bash a lady standing off to the side was watching the boys run around a tree. I was a little tiny bothered at how intently she was watching them. Then when she heard me call Brian she asked if it was Brian with 3 siblings and with his current last name. I was dumb founded as after I said yes she revealed that she will be our new case worker starting this Monday. She is a daughter of a dear friend at church of mine. We knew our caseworker was moving and done last Friday and have felt a little apprehensive about who we would have next, and Bam! God worked it all out!
After Bash we hung out at home and then went on a bike ride. The girls ride much slower than the boys. I was riding in the back with Brianna and she fell off her bike. I thought, no harm done as she landed in the grass. She sat there for a moment and then started screaming. I jumped off my bike thinking she was hurt and ran to her and pick up the bike to move it and she was already up stomping and jumping around. I was totally puzzled for a moment until the sting started hitting me! She had crashed into an ant hill and she was getting ant bites and I now had hundreds of them all over my arms and legs. My right foot is Very bit up but it seems she only ended up with a few bites. Needless to say it was a long ride home! Briasia crashed by our house and Lilly carried her in and Brian sprung into helping action getting the bikes out of the street and was so precious and concerned for his sisters! We got everyone bandaged up and off we went to watch the bigger kids' dance recital.
They all did great at dance in their routines. The little ones had a hard time sitting still to watch but overall they did well. We then went to McDonalds, and what a mistake!!! Brian threw one major fit after another the entire time. They all fought over fries and were just not doing well. It was a long ride home as Brian screamed the entire way and they all fought over toys. I must admit, I was ready to yell Calgon Take me Away (Only funny to those old enough to remember)! We made it though!
I got the boys to bed and then the girls completely melted down. In the end it was because Briasia's loft bed was under a smoke detector and she was scared to death of it and her twin was crying with sympathy pains:-) Bob came and helped me move the bed and........ahhhhhhh all is well in the Hahn house tonight.
I love every one of these children so much. Some moments are so frustrating to me and reminds me of how much I must frustrate my Lord when I throw a fit. It is so hard to think through the adoption of these children without truly being humbled at how I have been adopted into His family and he has been sooooooo patient with me! Praying for God to give me ideas and wisdom on how to train Brian to handle his frustration. I am also giving a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone of our other children. This is a family ministry and all the kids have risen to the calling and been a HUGE HELP!
Soooooo Blessed!
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Gotcha Day Celebration......All 4 are Moved In
This was a great day in the Hahn house! We picked up Brianna and Briasia at 12:30pm today along with all their belongings. I would ask for all to pray for Evette, their foster mother, as she is having a hard time. The girls have seemed a little confused. They have asked how many nights they get to stay and the boys too have asked if they will be separated again and dropped off at an old house or a new family. I have given many hugs today and explained many times that this is their forever family and home.
It just makes me think of how lost and orphaned I once was and how my Lord adopted me in and washed me clean and now I am a daughter of the king! It is amazing how tired I can be and feel like I can't muster any more patience and then, God, tugs at my heart and reminds me of where I once was and what he did for me.
This evening we had cake and ice cream with all the kids (even Amber and Josh came over). We sang Happy Gotcha Day to You, and enjoyed some fun laughter together.
The girls love their new bedroom and beds. They went to bed quite easily tonight.
It really is amazing to me how smooth this process has gone and how God has ordered our steps. I am glad the girls came today and not last Saturday as we wouldn't have had their room ready yet.
At this point the kids don't have middle name so we are helping each of them pick new middle names for their legal birth certificates we will get at the adoption finalization. So far we have Javon Joshua Hahn (his nickname is JJ so this makes great sense), Brian Robert Hahn (when we asked him what name he wanted he asked what is daddy's name? And then said I want that one just like my daddy), the girls are still thinking. Some suggestions they gave at bedtime between giggles were Spot, Dahdah, and a few other silly names. We will be working on those.
Now comes the tough stuff. You know, the daily grind. The day in, day out care, teaching, discipline and love. I know though that He who began a good work in me will complete it. My God amazes me in his grace, love, and how he gives me energy when needed.
Truly, I am a blessed women, wife, and mother!
It just makes me think of how lost and orphaned I once was and how my Lord adopted me in and washed me clean and now I am a daughter of the king! It is amazing how tired I can be and feel like I can't muster any more patience and then, God, tugs at my heart and reminds me of where I once was and what he did for me.
This evening we had cake and ice cream with all the kids (even Amber and Josh came over). We sang Happy Gotcha Day to You, and enjoyed some fun laughter together.
The girls love their new bedroom and beds. They went to bed quite easily tonight.
It really is amazing to me how smooth this process has gone and how God has ordered our steps. I am glad the girls came today and not last Saturday as we wouldn't have had their room ready yet.
At this point the kids don't have middle name so we are helping each of them pick new middle names for their legal birth certificates we will get at the adoption finalization. So far we have Javon Joshua Hahn (his nickname is JJ so this makes great sense), Brian Robert Hahn (when we asked him what name he wanted he asked what is daddy's name? And then said I want that one just like my daddy), the girls are still thinking. Some suggestions they gave at bedtime between giggles were Spot, Dahdah, and a few other silly names. We will be working on those.
Now comes the tough stuff. You know, the daily grind. The day in, day out care, teaching, discipline and love. I know though that He who began a good work in me will complete it. My God amazes me in his grace, love, and how he gives me energy when needed.
Truly, I am a blessed women, wife, and mother!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Javon Moved in, Wedding, Next move bedrooms for girls moving in this Saturday
Busy, Busy, Busy!
We have continued with visits with the girls each weekend and Javon moved in last Friday. Amber's wedding was on Saturday and it was amazing and sooooooo busy! I am so thankful for the amazing support God has had around us! Our neighbors kept the boys over night for the wedding, which was such a blessing! The boys were able to be close to home and know they were loved and coming back in the morning.
We have had company in from Ohio and have so enjoyed the visit. It has been very busy though. The next couple days will be about cleaning Amber's old room, moving Logan into her old room, cleaning Logan's old room and going to Akia to purchase beds for the girls which move in on Saturday. So exciting!
Brian is doing amazingly well learning the rules and he talks about how much he loves his new forever family and how he is glad he doesn't live in the foster home where no one was nice or loved each other. Amazing how articulate a 4 yo can be. Javon, which we call Jay jay, is struggling with the rules and visiting time out a lot. He just has no tools to cope with frustration other than to hit, punch, kick, spit, cuss, and call names. He is amazingly cute and I'm sure he will catch on with things calming down a bit now.
The girls move in this Saturday and I am so excited! Going to enjoy doing their room!
Today was my birthday and we went to Sanibel Island for the day. I loved being with all the kids and with my friend Becky and her family. The boys loved playing in the sand and water!
I must say, it is tiring working with the kids, but it is an amazing blessing! I love the life I get to live!
We have continued with visits with the girls each weekend and Javon moved in last Friday. Amber's wedding was on Saturday and it was amazing and sooooooo busy! I am so thankful for the amazing support God has had around us! Our neighbors kept the boys over night for the wedding, which was such a blessing! The boys were able to be close to home and know they were loved and coming back in the morning.
We have had company in from Ohio and have so enjoyed the visit. It has been very busy though. The next couple days will be about cleaning Amber's old room, moving Logan into her old room, cleaning Logan's old room and going to Akia to purchase beds for the girls which move in on Saturday. So exciting!
Brian is doing amazingly well learning the rules and he talks about how much he loves his new forever family and how he is glad he doesn't live in the foster home where no one was nice or loved each other. Amazing how articulate a 4 yo can be. Javon, which we call Jay jay, is struggling with the rules and visiting time out a lot. He just has no tools to cope with frustration other than to hit, punch, kick, spit, cuss, and call names. He is amazingly cute and I'm sure he will catch on with things calming down a bit now.
The girls move in this Saturday and I am so excited! Going to enjoy doing their room!
Today was my birthday and we went to Sanibel Island for the day. I loved being with all the kids and with my friend Becky and her family. The boys loved playing in the sand and water!
I must say, it is tiring working with the kids, but it is an amazing blessing! I love the life I get to live!
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